(I Hope She’ll Always Be) A Daddy’s Girl

Sometimes I have to just sit back and marvel at the strange way our lives unfold.  I’m among the last of my friends to have children, which means that while I’m entering the potty-training phase with Shortcake, they are dealing with driver’s licenses, first cars and the kids looking at where to attend college.  We’re all in different stages of the journey.

I sometimes find myself wondering how this will affect Shortcake as she grows up.  Right now, she doesn’t know that Daddy is older than a lot of her contemporary’s daddies. But it won’t stay that way forever.  I know that I may not always have the same energy that my younger counterparts do (though I can still toss her in the air and catch her with the  best of them and I’m pretty good at keeping up with her as she barrels off to find mischief), but I hope she always knows how special she is to me and how much I love her

I know that she won’t always be delighted to see me, bursting into a huge grin when she sees me every afternoon after a long day of work.  I know that I won’t always be the guy she snuggles up with a night, after a bottle and slowly fades off to sleep as we watch TV together.  I know she won’t always be calmed down by the Baby Shark song, nor will she always look over at me with just delight showing in her eyes that she can’t believe something this awesome exists and she gets to watch it.

It just emphasizes something a good friend told me once — remember these moments and take lots of pictures.  And he’s right.  So very right. I look at pictures of Shortcake from a week, month or year ago and while I recognize my little girl, I’m still gobsmacked at how much she’s grown and changed. She’ll always be my little girl, but I wonder if she’ll be as much of a Daddy’s girl.

A selfish part of me hopes she never outgrows that stage.

And part of me knows she will.  And that I need to savor our time together now.

 

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Dancing Baby Controversy (Some Thoughts)

Like many, I was horrified/infuriated/nauseous when I read the story about the two hospital corpsman at the Naval Air Station in Jacksonville who posted a couple of inappropriate pictures and videos involving several newborn babies in their care.

If you haven’t heard about it, click on the link above and read the entire story, which includes the inflammatory video and images.

Reading the story, I was struck by several thoughts.

The first is that it’s lucky for these ladies that the parents in the incident are feeling more immediately forgiving than I might under the circumstances.  I would eventually find a way to forgive these two for treating Shortcake that way, but I’d damn well make sure they had to face any and all consequences for their actions.

Second, I’m going to guess neither of these two ladies has ever faced the issue of infertility or struggling to have a child that we did.  Going through test after test, becoming frustrated, angry and upset every month when things didn’t go like we hoped, prayed, begged, planned for.  Answering questions to doctors about very personal things, leaving samples, getting poked and prodded.  And then to find out we were having a baby and worrying for nine months that something might happen to her as we waited to meet her. I’m guessing these two ladies never experienced anything like that.  And I hope they never do. But if they had, it might give them cause to reconsider how they treat someone else’s child.  They may see caring for these kids as a burden. But to some of us, that child is a miracle and a blessing. Which is why I think it would be harder for me to forgive them (again, I’d eventually get there, but it would take a lot of time).

Third of all, why in the wide, wide world of sports would you post this to social media?!?  Did you really think everyone else would find it funny or amusing?  It also makes me question just what these two ladies were getting away with that we don’t have documented via social media.  I hope this was only the first time they’ve done the dancing baby routine.

Reading this story only made me appreciate the nurses who were there for Shortcake and my wife when Shortcake was born.  The patience they showed us during this time and the love of the little ones who are in their care for a short time came through time and again.  My wife had complications after Shortcake was born and the nurses went above and beyond to help make sure Shortcake was taken care of and to work with us so she could have as much time with Mommy as possible.  I’m sure it wasn’t easy and it probably created some huge additional stresses for them.

One memory that stands out was the nurse who gave Shortcake her first bath.  She made sure that I could be there for it and the care she gave to Shortcake to make sure she didn’t get soap in her eyes and that the water wasn’t too hot or too cold….it was exactly the type of care and compassion you would hope every patient would receive.

Reading this story only makes me appreciate them that much more.

 

 

The Kindness Rock Projects

kindessrock1My wife, Shortcake and I visited our local park the other evening to get in an evening constitutional.  As we took turns pushing Shortcake’s stroller, my wife’s face suddenly lit as she saw a distinctive looking rock under a bush.

Grabbing it up, she showed off a painted black rock with white writing on it, seemingly decorated for Halloween.  Grinning, she showed it to Shortcake and we resumed our constitutional.   As we passed a tree, I noticed a festively painted blue rock sitting under a tree.  I pointed it out to my wife, who picked it up and we examined the colorful flower decorations and the encouraging words on the front of the rock.

“It’s an odd coincidence that we’d find two decorated rocks here,” I said.

“No, it isn’t,” she told me.  “It’s this new project.  I’ve seen a lot of posts about it on Facebook lately.  I’ve even joined a Facebook group that gives you hints on find rocks and lets you tease where you’ve hidden them.”

Because the light was getting dim and my wife forgot her cell phone, she decided to take the rocks home, photograph and share her find to the local group and then hide them again.  As we headed to the car, a young man ran up to a tree nearby, finding a rock nestled in its crook.

“I found it,” he exclaimed to his mother and the two then made a bee-line for where we’d picked up the Halloween rock a few minutes before.

Suddenly, I was intrigued by this.

Turns out, this real-life scavenger hunt game, is the newest Internet craze.  And while on the surface it seems like it’s a variation of Pokemon Go, there’s actually a lot more to it.  It’s part of the Kindness Rocks Project and it’s a movement to bring a bit of encouragement and positivity into the world today.

The project started in 2015.  Megan Murphy of Cape Cod, Mass says she had reached a turning point in her life following the death of her parents.  As she walked the beach each day, she would look for certain shaped rocks (heart-shaped for her father, a piece of sea-glass for her mom) that would be an encouragement from her parents.

Then one day, she happened to take a Sharpie marker with her and while walking the beach, she drew on five rocks and placed them back on the beach.   That evening, a friend texted her with a picture of one of the rocks and asked it Murphy had written on it and left it there.  The friend said the rock encouraged her at a moment when she needed it.  Murphy says that serves as an “a-ha” moment for her and the Kindness Rocks Project was born.

Two years later, the movement has its own website, local Facebook groups and has received coverage in newspapers, magazines and TV outlets across the country.

kindnessrock2At its core, the Kindness Rocks Project is helping bring a message of hope.  As the Kindness Rocks Project website says, “Now more than ever kindness can become a connecting force for good during uncertain times. Many people, including myself, are feeling a sense of overwhelm, unease and restlessness due to the current events taking place in our world today, and I believe that our united strength can be cultivated through simple random acts of kindness. Each of us can make a positive difference. Together we can make a positive IMPACT!”

All you have to do participate is join log-on to the Kindness Rocks Project website or Facebook page and either start looking for or creating your own rocks.  The site includes details on the best way to create rocks.  The website recommends using smooth stones that you can either collect in the wild or purchase at a home or craft store.  Seal the rock with a non-toxic spray or paint and then use oil based Sharpie Paint pens to create your masterpiece or share a short, encouraging word.   You can add the hashtag #TheKindnessProject to the back of the rock and then seal it with a clear coat of non-toxic sealer.

Then, with permission of the venue where you’re going to leave the rock, start leaving them in places where others can find and share them.  And if you find one, share it on social media and then either put it back where you found it or take it home and create your own rock to replace the one you’ve found.  You can even share where you’ve placed your Kindness Rock on the local Facebook groups or the Kindness Rock Project’s website.

And if you’re struggling with what to say, there are a ton of resources out there on Pinterest, Instagram or just by using our good friend, Google.  Craft store Michael’s has partnered with the project to sponsor the Million Rock Challenge.

I know the joy, encouragement and fun that finding those two rocks has brought to our family. And we’ve decided that we want to create our own rocks and share them with the world.

Who knew that making the world a brighter place could start with something as simple as a rock?

Confession: I’m Terrible at Video-Games

Confession time.

And this one is a bit hard for me as a geeky dad.

I’m terrible at video games.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy video games, mind you.  I had a delightful time exploring the Doctor Who add-on for Lego Dimensions when my wife lovingly gave it to me for my birthday a year and a half ago.

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And while we’ve had a Wii and then a WiiU for a while now, before that I really didn’t have a lot of the major game systems that my fellow geeks have or grew up on.

In fact, I can probably count on one hand the number of games that I’ve played all the way through and “beat.”  And two of those involved Star Trek.  Continue reading “Confession: I’m Terrible at Video-Games”

Joss Whedon and the Gene Roddenberry comparisons

josswhedonEver since “discovering” Buffy the Vampire Slayer in the mid-90’s (in season two, before it was cool to like it), I’ve had an admiration for Joss Whedon.  He’s a creative guy who wrote and directed some of the most memorable episodes of television of that era.

He’s since gone on to shepherd some of the best-loved loved TV shows and movies of the last two decades.  Much of his output has been about female empowerment and creating strong roles for women, up to and including Whedon seeming to earn the label of a feminist.

All of that seems to be crashing around Whedon with his ex-wife, Kai Cole, publishing an op-ed piece that says Whedon is “hypocrite” and that he had multiple affairs during the course of their marriage.

Reading Cole’s piece and then seeing Whedon’s response (it feels like a non-denial denial in addition to closing down a website devoted to his fandom), I can’t help but feel like Whedon has become Gene Roddenberry for a new generation.  For those of you who don’t live and breathe Star Trek, I’ll try to keep this short.

Roddenberry created Star Trek and founded his view of humanity’s future on some wonderful ideals.  As Ken Wray, co-host of the superlative Mission Log, recently put it, Roddenberry’s vision was that not only do we make it to the future, but we get past many of the issues that face our society today. Or as Trek put it, Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combination.

And while Roddenberry had a great vision for the future, he was still a human being with weaknesses.  One was that Roddenberry had a weakness when it came to women.  The guy put his then-mistress, later-wife Majel Barret into the pilot and then crafted a recurring role for her on the original series as Nurse Chapel.

And it feels like Whedon has almost followed a similar path.  The letter by his ex-wife says that Whedon had multiple affairs over the course of their marriage and

Despite understanding, on some level, that what he was doing was wrong, he never conceded the hypocrisy of being out in the world preaching feminist ideals, while at the same time, taking away my right to make choices for my life and my body based on the truth. He deceived me for 15 years, so he could have everything he wanted. I believed, everyone believed, that he was one of the good guys, committed to fighting for women’s rights, committed to our marriage, and to the women he worked with. But I now see how he used his relationship with me as a shield, both during and after our marriage, so no one would question his relationships with other women or scrutinize his writing as anything other than feminist.

And while I’m disappointed that both Whedon and Roddenberry didn’t live up the ideals or the image they portrayed themselves to be in pop culture, this doesn’t mean I’m not going to let Shortcake view their creative output (when appropriate for her.  I don’t think she’ll get a lot out of Buffy right now!)

Both men created women who are smart, funny, empowered and aren’t defined by their relationship to men.  As the father of a little girl, I’m grateful to them for creating pop culture heroines that my daughter can look up to and emulate.

I also think it could be a valuable tool to teach her about the difference between the public and private persona that people can have.

I still respect the output of both men.  And I understand the public persona they created, even if they were flawed and failed to live up the lofty expectations they and their fans created for them.

Daddy-Fail

 

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Shortcake began Mother’s Day Out this morning.

We spent a majority of the weekend assembling all the items she’d need, labeling them and getting ready to make the first day as easy as possible.

That is, until, we had an epic Daddy-fail!  See, Daddy was in charge of lunch and snacks. So last night, we assembled the snacks and lunch, carefully labeling each Ziplock bag with the proper information and getting them ready.  But instead of Daddy putting all the baggies into Shortcake’s lunch box, he only put in the components of lunch.

Fast forward to this morning.  We made a special first-day breakfast, had the proper outfit picked out, got the items together to take to school, and headed out the door for our big adventure.  Pictures were taken (before it began raining, no less!) and we dropped off Shortcake in her new classroom.  Only to find that Daddy had been so focused on getting everything else done that (Epic Daddy-fail!) he forgot to include the snacks!

Feeling like a contender for Worst-Daddy-EVER, we scrambled to the local grocery store and purchased more snacks and a new box of Ziplock bags.  All pieces quickly assembled, we dropped ’em off and everything is good, except the feeling of epic Daddy-fail.

The good news is that when I dropped off the snacks, it allowed me to see that Shortcake had adjusted to her new adventure and was having a great time.  (Dropping her off, she  burst into tears when Daddy put her down so he could discover his epic Daddy-fail).

 

 

Chilling Story

Just saw a story that sent a chill down my spine.

It involved two teenage babysitters who put a crying child into a refrigerator as a joke and then posted live video of it on-line.  The part that chilled me most involved that you can apparently hear the child still crying while inside the fridge.

They then opened the fridge and said, “See, she’s OK.”

The good news: The little girl in question is safe now without any harm.  And that her mother doesn’t plan on allowing these two girls to babysit her daughter again.

Saddest part of all — the girl put into the fridge is the niece of one of the accused babysitters.  I can only imagine this will make for some awkward family dinners from here on out.

On the one hand, these girls are fortunate that the mother involved seems a bit more forgiving than I would be.  If someone did this to Shortcake, I’d be all for throwing the book at them and making sure they learned a lesson about consequences to decisions and actions, no matter how young or old you may be.

I can also see how you don’t want to let one terrible, stupid decision ruin the lives of these young girls.

We all do dumb things when we’re young. But it seems like people (of all ages) are going to greater extremes these days to draw attention to themselves.

UPDATE: So, it gets even more chilling.  Just saw another report where after the infant is put in the fridge, one of the accused is heard saying “Bye” on the video.  It makes me more furious and nauseous that these two girls thought this was an appropriate way to behave or thing to do.